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Must be between 18 and craiglist years of service. Must prove this with ID upon hire. All supplies will be provided.

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Please reply with a full body photo preferably in the nude. Compensation will be negotiated. You would find that funny, Emily will say. More importantly, though, Emily is ugly.

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Nobody would want Emily to do nude nude, you will tell yourself. You might reiterate that sentiment to yourself later that night as you reread it in bed. She pretends not to hear. This, though, is just to see if the man who posted it even responds to you.

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The man will respond in exactly twenty-three minutes asking to maid you in person so he can verify your age.